What If My Child Won’t Smile for Pictures?
Your child doesn’t smile on command. Excellent. Neither do most interesting people.
If you’re worried your child won’t smile for pictures, I have good news: they don’t have to. Some kids grin at me within thirty seconds. Some need time to decide whether I’m trustworthy. Some are serious little people. Others would rather make seventeen ridiculous faces than give me the smile their parents were hoping for. All of those children are photographable. In fact, those are usually the kids I have the most fun with.
But Doesn’t My Child Have to Smile for Good Pictures?
Absolutely not. Some of my favorite childhood portraits don’t have a smile anywhere in them. A thoughtful expression can be beautiful. So can curiosity, concentration, mischief, shyness and the spectacularly unimpressed face only a five-year-old can produce.
The goal of a child photography session isn’t to make your child look artificially happy. It’s to make photographs that look like your child. If they’re naturally serious, I want some of that. If they’re silly, I want that too. And when a genuine smile happens somewhere in between? I’ll be ready.
What If My Child Is Shy?
Then we give them time. I’m a stranger with a camera. Being a little suspicious of me is actually a perfectly reasonable response. I don’t expect a shy child to walk into a photography session and immediately perform.
We might look at toys. They can show me something they brought from home. We can talk about their dog, dinosaurs, dance class, Minecraft or whatever currently occupies 87% of their brain. Or they don’t have to talk to me at all. They can simply play while I photograph them. The camera doesn’t have to be the center of attention.
What If My Child Won’t Sit Still?
Even better. Children were never particularly designed for sitting perfectly still while adults repeatedly tell them to smile. Toddlers especially have places to go and important things to investigate. So we’ll move. We’ll play. Explore. Chase things. Sit on the floor. Find something interesting. Take a break. Get back up again. Your child doesn’t need to be good at having their picture taken. That’s my job.
Should I Tell My Child to Smile?
This is where I ask parents to trust me a little. If your child isn’t smiling, you don’t need to stand behind me saying:
“Smile!”
“Look at Miss Anne!”
“Show her your real smile!”
“No, your REAL smile!”
I promise I know you are trying to help. But sometimes all that attention makes a child more aware that they’re expected to perform—and suddenly everyone is working very hard for a smile that doesn’t look anything like the one you love. I’d rather let you relax and let me get to know your child. I have toys. I have ridiculous questions. I have considerable experience being silly. And occasionally there are lollipops involved. We’ll figure it out.
What If My Child Cries?
Then we stop taking pictures. We sit. We play. They can have Mom or Dad. They can have a snack. They can decide I’m questionable and require further investigation. There is no emergency. Full childhood sessions are intentionally unhurried because children don’t operate according to photography schedules. If your child needs twenty minutes to feel comfortable, we’ll give them twenty minutes. My job isn’t simply to photograph children. It’s to make them feel safe enough to show me who they are.
What About the Serious Pictures?
Please let me take them. Parents understandably want photographs of happy, smiling children. I want those too. But I also want the thinking face. The raised eyebrow. The little bit of attitude. The faraway expression when they’re absorbed in something. The face you see across the breakfast table that you know better than anyone else in the world. Childhood has more than one expression. Your photographs should too.
What If My Child Makes Ridiculous Faces?
Oh, we’re photographing those. Not exclusively, obviously. But if your six-year-old gives me the world’s greatest pirate face between two beautiful portraits, I’m pressing the shutter. Because someday that ridiculous face may be the photograph that makes you laugh out loud.
Missing teeth? Bring them.
Bedhead because your toddler hates hair brushing? We can work with it.
Wild child? I’m in.
Serious kid? Wonderful.
Shy kid? They can take their time.
The quirks aren’t obstacles we have to overcome before we can make the “good” photographs. They’re part of the story.
Your Child Doesn’t Have to Perform for My Camera
One of the things I love most about photographing children is that they’re still becoming themselves. They’re funny and strange and thoughtful and unpredictable. Their interests change. Their teeth fall out. Their favorite shirt gets too small. The stuffed animal they carry everywhere eventually gets left on a shelf. I don’t want to photograph some imaginary perfectly behaved version of your child. I want the one you brought me.
So if you’re worried your child won’t smile for pictures, you can take that particular worry off your list. We’ll play. I’ll photograph. And we’ll let your child take care of being a kid.
*All photos courtesy of Brown Bunny Photography
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